Unforgivable: Premarital Sex and Pot in College

by npiller88

the face of a cold-blooded criminallock him up and throw away the key

I am outraged.

First it was BYU star hoopster Brandon Davies having sex with his girlfriend. Now Washington State star guard Klay Thompson gets caught with nearly two grams of marijuana. Davies was kicked off the team for the time being (and is being sent to counseling, thank heavens), and Thompson has been suspended indefinitely. I know, I know, I was wondering the same thing: No lethal injection or death by firing squad?

These schools have gone soft. I remember when even heavy petting wasn’t tolerated at BYU. And if Jimmer Fredette’s girlfriend is any indication of the caliber of ladies trolling the exterior of the Cougars’ locker room…

festive!

…the willpower has clearly been strong with this team. Until Davies had to ruin everything by going on this debauched escapade. No word yet on whether the sex was caffeine fueled (for the sake of Davies’ Mormon devotion, let’s hope not). And don’t worry! You don’t have to lock up your daughters, you fathers of BYU cheerleaders. Davies is gone. Kaput. Good riddance (at least for a year, while he undergoes counseling). Who needs a number one seed? Who needs to beat New Mexico? Give me chastity or give me death. What college student doesn’t repeat this mantra to his or herself DAILY?

But Davies was quickly one-upped by Klay Thompson. Evidently, the Washington State boosters didn’t shell out enough money to provide Thompson with a working taillight, because a cop stopped him last night (as he approached his own DRIVEWAY) to give him a warning for the broken light. Unfortunately for Klay, he had about two joints worth of weed sitting in the car. Despicable. Yes, yes I know, several players from Marshall University beat up some kids in a bar fight in February and then played in the next game. So maybe two players were caught driving under the influence earlier this year, with one getting only a four game suspension (a Robert Morris University star), and the other, after injuring the other driver involved in the accident, received only an 8 game suspension. But fighting and DUIs, that’s small potatoes. With Thompson and Davies, we’re talking about marijuana. And sex. Again, I’ll say it. Unforgivable.

The hilarity of Thompson’s whole mess is magnified by the fact that his father Mychael is the play-by-play radio announcer for the Los Angeles Lakers. I was listening to the Lakers’ flagship station today, and you might have expected Mychael to shy away from the issue. You would have been wrong. Mychael Thompson took the opportunity to publicly shame his son for the “egregious” transgression, even going so far as to doubt his readiness for the NBA after this season (never mind that pot usage has been reported to reach levels of 70-80% consumption among players in the NBA–Of course, Thompson, a former NBA player, dismissed this, saying he had never witnessed a toke during his playing days). Ok, so you might be saying: But Klay Thompson has to live in Pullman, Washington! What else is he supposed to do? I’m going to pretend you didn’t ask that. Imagine what the consequences would have been if Thompson had been at BYU in Provo, in the hands of a school administration that actually takes transgressions seriously (I’m thinking exile–Old Testament style). So maybe pulling Thompson from Wazu’s most important game of the season will lead to another postseason-free year in Pullman. But again, its the principle of the matter.

Maybe a few of you are saying: Well, I can see why they would suspend the kid for pot, but sex? Well, why don’t we take a look at BYU’s honor code, shall we? (after the jump)

  • Be honest
  • Live a chaste and virtuous life
  • Obey the law and all campus policies
  • Use clean language
  • Respect others
  • Abstain from alcoholic beverages, tobacco, tea, coffee and substance abuse
  • Participate regularly in church services
  • Observe the Dress and Grooming Standards
  • Encourage others in their commitment to comply with the Honor Code

First of all, imagine if Davies had LIED about the premarital sex.. Double whammy. I would have wept for him. I’m just glad his grooming habits were up to snuff. And as for the clean language, we can only pray. I have faith, but for a delinquent of the first degree like Davies, I’m not getting my hopes up.

So the question I pose to you is, could you handle the BYU honor code for a year? (remember, that’s no lying, swearing, beards, drugs of any kind, atheism, agnosticism, Buddhism, Judaism, Catholicism, take your pick of Protestant sects, no shit talking, no sex before marriage, and no ill will of any kind). Piece of cake. What did sports fans who voted on ESPN’s SportsNation poll say? Evidently, they are a pretty confident, clean-living bunch, as 57% of respondents believed they COULD handle a year under this regime. Oddly enough, the responses were split along the middle of the country geographically. Shockingly, the entire American west trended towards “yes,” while the Eastern side appeared less than optimistic. Go figure. Satan-worshiping East Coast, I’ve got my eye on you.

Let the struggles of these two young men be a lesson to you, young hoopsters. If you go to college, please don’t experiment. That’s what junior high is for.

Oh, and just in case you were worried about young Davies’ progress, never fear. This from BYU Athletic Director Tom Holmoe:

We’re doing everything we can to kind of come in and rescue him and get him back on track.

Bless you, Mr. Holmoe. Bless you. You are saving this young man from the bowels of hell.

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One Comment to “Unforgivable: Premarital Sex and Pot in College”

  1. I need saving too. I enjoy the occasional beer and hell if I don’t blurt out a swear every now and then.

    I makes me sick that Davies situation has been played up so prominently in the media. He didn’t do anything illegal, yet his name still gets pulled through the mud. I don’t know if this would have been better, but perhaps not releasing what the infraction was would have been a bit more prudent.

    Think it’s hilarious that A) Thompson ripped his son on radio, I applaud him for that
    B) that Thompson NEVER saw somebody toke up during his playing days. Must be cuz he missed playing with Bill Walton by 1 year.

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